Shotgun
by dshell99
Summary: A simple kiss will lead Edd to so much chill. Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd, N Eddy. I only own my OC. Plot bunny from Auntie Shara.


**Author's Note: Heeeeeey! First of all, don't do drugs, kids. Pot is only legal in a few places across the globe and what is happening here is very illegal for the most part, so I highly advise you to read for FUN, _not inspiration._**

 **That said, shoutout to Auntie Shara for the plot bunny! And thank my best friend for letting me use her laptop so I can write SOMETHING while I try to figure out what to do about my computer giving me the Blue Screen of Death ™.**

 **Love y'all and stay cool!**

The ache in Edd's head started to worsen as he walked up the stairs of his and Kevin's apartment building. The funky smell of stale marijuana permeated through the building and it just made his head ache worst.

 _"Ugh,"_ he thought as he made his way up the four flights of stairs to their apartment. _"Why can't anyone buy the good stuff around here?"_

He then chuckled a bit to himself because he actually knew what the good strains of marijuana were.

It wasn't like it was all that hard. The science behind cultivating the wild plant was right up his alley.

* * *

Rolf grew his fair share of marijuana in high school to help his Nana's various aches and pains and a bit more for his people's various festivities.

When Eddy figured out what he was up to, he thought it was a good idea to sell whatever extra the plants harvested to their fellow teens.

Rolf knew it was a good idea, but he didn't want to get caught selling the highly potent plant as it was illegal to do so, so he came to Edd for help in how to make Eddy's scam work because _everyone_ knew that it was _Edd_ who made all of Eddy's ideas come together. It was always Eddy's _execution_ that tended to be a problem.

* * *

Edd's plan was simple: Nazz would continue to throw her parties, Kevin, Rolf, Johnny, and the Kankers' would bring in potential clients to sell the product to. Ed would use his perceptiveness to see who was good for a sale _and_ could keep their mouths shut about what was going on and who just wasn't _cool_ enough for them.

Edd and Johnny helped with cultivation and by the end of their junior year, there were was enough profits to go around to help supplement the holes in all of their meager college funds provided Nana distributed the money in a way to not bring the government's attention to how she got so much money and how and why she was giving it all away to her neighbors.

* * *

But what Edd hadn't counted on, was that the drug helped to ease his anxiety and relax a bit. He didn't directly smoke it in the beginning, his fears of getting caught mimicking Rolf's to a _Nth_ degree. Not to mention his disdain for the sharing of germs that came with passed joints and bongs. But second hand contacts were a thing and he came into a great many contact with them as their popularity for growing the _weed_ grew.

When it became apparent that people wanted to be sure that the product was _legit_ considering _Eddy_ was the biggest proponent of the stuff, he found that he had to demonstrate it's usefulness. Kevin taught him how to roll joints and blunts and Ed taught him how to properly pack a bong. His own research led him to some of the best accessories they would need to properly demonstrate how to get the best high out of what they were trying to sell, so it wasn't too surprising to see him with his own joint, pipe, or bong at parties. His already mellow friends and neighbors would tease him about his loosened up attitude, but it was all in good fun as he was the more likable of the Eds of their overall group anyways.

His relaxed mind found more common ground with his neighbors, _Kevin_ the most surprising of all.

* * *

At first Edd wanted to blame the THC for relaxing their minds and loosening their tongues, thus letting them be more open and honest with each other about their lives. But when the buzz had worn off and the munchies had been sated, they still wanted to hang out.

Where as Nazz's place in life was as an only child, she was also a girl, so the expectations in her life from her family were different from all the boys she was surrounded by and even Sarah who was a _Little Sister._ Rolf had to live up to the Old Country and the New. Johnny and Jimmy were both beloved sons, but with their own very best friends that they would do anything for and who would do anything for them.

Kevin was the dutiful, sport loving son, a well played sporting career his way to his parents pride.

Edd was just as dutiful, but a sparkling education was his only way to into the annuals of his parents hearts and minds.

In duty, they worked their asses off and were rewarded with proud back slaps and hugs, a slick Harley for Kevin, a new car and laptop for Edd.

 _But they were still so lonely._

* * *

Eddy and Edd wouldn't clash as so much as wear out each other's welcomes and Edd grew tired of being the third wheel in Eddy's close family home.

Mr Von Bartonschmeer didn't trust Kevin as far as he could throw him and he played soccer not baseball.

In commiserating about their status in their family's hierarchy, they bonded. Each other's bedrooms and basements became an oasis in a world that was changing far too quickly to understand even if they were caught up on everything that was ever meant to be caught up on.

 _Bad_ jokes about their sex ed classes led to their discussions about how they should be feeling about their place in the world. And even when they were being their most honest, sober selves, they still wanted to hide.

 _Kids are cruel and the world unforgiving._

* * *

THC slowed their world a bit and brought a buzzy peace. Their _feelings_ became light and airy, things to be dealt with later.

In groups, they would share a look, a silly intoxicated grin, and no one was the wiser.

In private, space was shared in closer proximity and time apart would be bland by comparison.

Senior year was a bit melancholy as they thought that their time together was coming to an end.

Even with Nana's monetary gifts, they just couldn't go where the other was going to be because Edd's school was _elite_ compared to Kevin's state choices. And neither would stand for the other to make a _sacrifice_ for _him_.

* * *

Edd was genuinely upset when he got his acceptance letter into the private research school of his dreams.

He'd be three hours away from home, not nary a friend to be found.

His parents assured him that new ones would be made, but he was _sure_ (marijuana induced paranoia notwithstanding) it was because they didn't like the ones he had. So a new school and new home in the apartment they had found for him, would be good for this new path in his life.

Kevin had rolled him a joint as he complained and after a few hits he calmed down and they made plans for Christmas that winter and prom the following weekend.

* * *

At the prom, Kevin sent him a few cryptic texts that Edd could only decipher as needing a hook up for a _nickel bag._ By the time Edd figured out that no one had anything on hand, Kevin was outright texting him to meet him in a small corner on the third floor of the garage that belonged to the hotel the prom was being held in _._

 _"Sorry, I don't have anything,"_ Edd had told him and Kevin shrugged as cocked his head to one of the members of the basketball team.

 _"Nah, it's cool. Alex is gonna let me hit this. You want in?"_

When Edd saw how little that Alex had on hand, he shook his head _no_ because he knew they'd have to pass a joint around and he was _not_ doing that.

A call of, _"Shotgun!"_ was heard from another level and reverberated through the garage as Edd turned to walk away and Alex snickered while Kevin _sighed_.

It was a breathy sigh, one of near defeat and anxiousness, and Edd turned around because he couldn't understand why Kevin would sound that way on such a nice night.

He asked the redhead if he was okay and Kevin didn't say anything while Alex assured him that he would be as soon as he hit the joint and Edd rolled his eyes. Before Edd could turn back around and walk away again, Alex had rolled up the joint, lit and hit it, blew a bit of smoke out and right into a very frustrated Kevin's face and walked off laughing to himself.

When Edd asked him what that was about, Kevin pulled him in for a smoky kiss.

All Edd heard over the sound of his pounding heartbeat and choking coughs was Kevin saying, _"Damn, I'm gonna miss you..."_

When he got his bearings back, he thought he was going to be sick as so many feelings had his stomach in knots, but he had to kiss him again.

Two deep, _smoky_ kisses later, he ran back into the dance to try to enjoy the _rightful_ American teenage rite of passage and _forget_.

* * *

But every time he rode shotgun with his mother, Eddy, or Nazz, and every time Kevin rode shotgun with him between that night and graduation, he just couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried.

He could only deny the truth for so long, but when it was sitting right next to him, when he was riding in its place, he had to accept it.

When graduation day came, he was so anxious over his valedictorian speech and the announcements of where the top students and athletes would be attending to their education's in the fall, he woke up and ran to the bathroom to throw up bile and water and dry heaved for a good five minutes after his stomach was empty of simple glass of water he had before he went to bed.

His mother made him tea to go with a light breakfast of toast and sweet rice, but he knew what he needed.

Double Dork: I need to see you.

Special K: Meet me in the alley

Ten minutes later, they're in the alley passing a joint in a thick silence.

Edd's nausea passed quickly, but his heart felt so bruised.

So many questions that he didn't want to answer lingered in the smoky air, but he gave his speech with a sense of confidence only an altered state of conscience could bring.

He ate his weight in damn near everything at the party their parents threw for them that night and slept like a baby that night.

The next morning he was gone to his new life.

But he was back for Thanksgiving and over turkey sandwiches Thanksgiving Day he caught up with Ed and Eddy, a pizza party on Friday night with Nazz, Sarah, Jimmy, and Johnny had him telling silly stories about shenanigans with the teacher's assistant in his biology lab. He and Rolf spent Saturday morning harvesting the few marijuana plants he kept just for his family before he spent the evening at the local diner with Marie playing catch up as best they could during her work shift.

He didn't see Kevin til Christmas.

* * *

Edd was more than ready to spend his first day of his Christmas break in the city to wait out the snowstorm that covered the roads between his home and the airport, but Kevin and his truck were there to bring him back home.

And Nazz.

She rode shotgun and passed around their first blunt to celebrate being free from the stress of the college careers, but Edd wasn't up for smoking as he had a killer migraine that made anything other than just breathing _hurt._

When she offered to shotgun him a hit instead, Kevin nearly ran the truck off the road.

 _"No shotguns in my truck! It's not safe!"_

Nazz had cocked a brow and Edd just closed his eyes and prayed that the second hand contact would help like it used to.

 _It didn't._

* * *

When Kevin stopped by later that night after Edd's parents had gone to bed, he was waving Edd's _Christmas present_ in his face.

 _A full dime bag._

When he took his first sniff of the stickiest _snuck weed_ he had ever had a chance to smoke, his entire essence craved a _shotgun._

 _"Talk to me, Dork,"_ Kevin said as he lined everything up for a heavy blunt roll on Edd's desk before they snuck over to Rolf's smoke shack.

And Edd became his usual chatterbox self, but when they got to the shack, he clammed up.

There was only a simple brown LazyBoy in the place with a tiny coffee table to lay their necessities down on.

Considering that Nana passed away the summer before, and left all the kids a nice gift in their college funds behind, it didn't make much sense to crowd the space with couches, tables, and chairs.

Edd recognized the chair as Rolf's father's but everything else was new to him.

 _"Guess it's just his dad now,"_ Kevin had mused and Edd could only nod before being pulled into the taller's lap to light the blunt like he had always done.

A gentle tug to his chin made him lean for a smoke filled kiss and his headache immediately dissipated.

 _"Missed you."_

He wanted to snuggle and just _chat_ but his heart wouldn't let him.

 _"What are we doing?"_

Scared green eyes flicked into his own before looking away as Kevin turned his head to blow the smoke away.

Not getting an answer, snatched the blunt from him, pulled a puff and blew it right into his face.

As the smoke cleared, those green eyes looked annoyed, but still scared.

 _"What do you want to do?"_

His feelings for the other were always heightened in a moment like this, but he knew he could never really shake them.

 _Unless..._

 _"Dinner. And a movie."_

 _"When?"_

 _"Tomorrow."_

 _"Okay."_

 ** _"Sober."_**

Kevin cocked his head and shrugged.

 _"Okie dokie."_

* * *

They went to the movie first and discussed it over dinner like old friends. And they made more plans to get together over the holiday because Kevin wasn't going to miss him like he had done at Thanksgiving, no matter how much time they had spent apart.

It was just easier to take the time apart as it came than it did to try to ignore it when they could be together catching up.

Coinciding spring break's made for an easy road trip to the coast and finally figuring _them_ out.

He was a friend who understood, a cheerleader who encouraged him better than even his best coach, a sounding board to all the sounds in his head, and a hell of a good kisser.

Thankfully, there were more hits then misses, and a few hits of _Mary Jane_ would occasionally help things along and ease the pain of being in a long distant relationship only they knew about away.

* * *

When a knee injury killed Kevin's sporting career just as his star started to climb, Edd rolled the joints that kept the pills at bay and helped him construct a new life plan that was genuinely his own.

He couldn't deny his parents influence on all things _sports_ in his life, so, like Edd, he took a pipe dream and made it real.

He knew sports, but hated most medicine because _needles_ , so he decided to get into _preventative_ care as a trainer.

Thankfully, he didn't have to stay at his state school to get the best training and quickly moved to the city a good thirty minutes from Edd's school to enroll at the city university that had one of the best athletic trainer programs in the country.

When he tossed Edd his own key to his apartment off campus after a quick lunch date to play catch up before midterms, Edd hugged him in the middle of the Subway parking lot and Kevin quickly learned that well meaning gifts might be better given in private to avoid the embarrassing high wolf whistles and disgusting cat calls.

After Edd graduated, he moved in and their family and friends nearly went up in smoke.

Edd's parents couldn't believe he was willingly living in a lower class neighborhood just to be close to his man, not remembering that their jobs were within walking distance and the money they were saving would be well spent on a nice vacation and a small house _someday._

Kevin's parents couldn't believe that their All American son was in love with such a dork who very well could walk away as soon as he found something or someone that was more in line with elite academic life someone like Edd lived.

Their friends couldn't believe they had been _involved_ for so long.

And Ed fired himself from his job as their resident soothsayer.

Kevin packed a bowl in Edd's favorite bong and spent that first evening playing _shotgun and chill_ with his man.

* * *

Tonight, after another long day on his feet at the biotech lab that every hospital in the state outsourced their more elaborate and extensive work out to, he wanted nothing more than to crash on the couch and not move for the rest of his life.

When he reached their door, a familiar smell seeped into the hallway and he quickly unlocked the door, a bit of glee keeping the ache in his head from getting worst at his sudden movements.

"Hey there!"

Hazy, bloodshot green eyes glimmer at him and he smiles back.

"What in the world?!"

"Rolf stopped by on their way to see Ang's parents. Dropped a bit off because she doesn't want so much in the house," Kevin said as he sat back and ground the bud he had in Edd's grinder.

Edd rolled his eyes as he kicked off his shoes and headed to the bedroom, calling a request of a joint over his shoulder.

* * *

A pile of cold Chinese food littered their coffee table as Edd straddled Kevin's lap.

"Say, _'ah,'"_ the redhead whispered before pulling a puff off Edd's pipe and Edd dropped his jaw like a bird.

A moment later, a long puff of smoke is blown into his mouth and he swallows and holds it like a backed up drain before throwing his head back and blowing the rest into the ceiling as the ceiling fan whipped it around the warm room.

"Man, Ang doesn't know what she's missing," he giggled and Kevin snorted.

"It's her job, man," he sighed. "I used to smoke with her in school, remember? She's so silly when she's high, but she can't anymore," the ginger shrugged and Edd pouted.

"Suckage."

"Dude."

Smoldering green met curious blue and Edd fell off his lap as he laughed.

"I empathize, my dear," Edd groaned as he weakly sat up. "But I don't think I'll be much good to you now."

"I'm getting you a drink," Kevin announced as he stood up and stormed into the kitchen.

"That's not how this works!" Edd giggled from the couch as Kevin slammed the fridge.

"So you don't want any KoolAid?"

Edd popped up like a Jack In The Box and Kevin nearly dropped the cup in his hand laughing at him.

"Stop laughing at me and bring me my juice, you jerk!" Edd pouted and Kevin mocked him with a pout of his own.

"Says the man who likes it when I jerk -"

"Shut up, Kevin!"

At this point, the redhead is in the floor laughing and Edd has to go get his own KoolAid.

 _And it worked._

* * *

After they had gone to bed, Edd showed him a few houses in their area that they could possibly afford on his phone as Kevin set their alarms.

"I like this one," he said as he scrolled through a few pictures from a listing of a small cottage that was still walking distance from Edd's job, but also on the bus line so Kevin's commute was still taken care of without them spending too much on gas for his truck.

The yards were small as the house took up most of the space and the old fall out shelter was being shown as being rehabbed as a wine cellar, but Edd had a better idea.

"You know, they're starting to issue licenses to cannabis oil makers and general medicinal dealers," Edd said as he scrolled through his list of favorite houses that he had saved onto his Zillow app.

"So what are you saying, Dr Dorko?" Kevin teased and Edd's phone was in his face.

The picture on the screen of a wide, expansive basement and as Kevin clicked through the pictures, he saw that the basement had a fallout shelter as well as a spare room. The upstairs had the general formal entertaining areas and the second story had three bedrooms, master included.

But Edd kept lingering over the basement, the spare room in particular.

As a southern facing room, it would have a good deal of sunlight all year through, which Edd would love in an office for himself. It had a small closet with a window, but dark corners, perfect for hiding things that still needed light.

Kevin hummed as he thought about the risk they would be taking but Edd knew how to ease his worries a bit.

"That space would only be for _us._ But there's a new company in town that needs lab techs that specialize in not only growing the stuff, but how to get the best THC out of what they manage to harvest."

"You dork," Kevin snickered as he pulled him closer. "How much they gonna pay you?"

"Looking at thirty K a year to start," Edd said as he looked at him for reassurance that this was a good idea.

"Take it," Kevin said as he gave him an incredulous look. "Or do you want me to take it for you?"

"I'll see what they say tomorrow over my lunch break," Edd snickered as he locked the phone away and put it on his charger before coming back to warm arms.

"I'll call the bank."

"I'll be sure to tell Ed to count his chickens before they hatch."

* * *

Edd got the job, Kevin got them the house, and Ed got them eggs as a housewarming present.

Ang got them a planter and a bong as a housewarming present.

And Edd loves to come home to _chill_ with his man.


End file.
